Most men are surrounded by important women. The moment we are born, for most of us, our mothers would be among the first to hold us in their arms.

As we grow older, we are surrounded by sisters at home and girls at schools.

There’s a brief moment when we swear that we hate those girls more than anything else. On the rare occasion we play together, the boys will tease the girls endlessly.

Ironically, we soon find ourselves mesmerised by their beauty and elegance as we enter our teenage years. During adulthood, many men take their admiration for women to another level and get married. With that, we have officially added another woman to our lives – our wives.

Yet, in our love-hate relationships with women, many men have side-lined their contributions and importance in improving our lives.

When we were small, our mothers sacrificed their sleep to ensure that we slept comfortably throughout the night. That is nothing compared to putting their lives on the line to push us out into this world! Later on, their own comforts, emotions and patience were severely tested in dealing with our antics and troubles.

If women expect men to be less troublesome as they grow older, they again would be frustrated. What they found is just “bigger boys” with equally inflated ego and antics.

Many wives have found that their husbands are not living up to their responsibilities to the family and the children. Just look at the statistics of abandoned families, leaving single mothers to fend for themselves.

Even more disturbing is the increasing cases of abandoned babies. Where were the responsible men in all of those cases?

We all can live happily alongside one another if we care to understand what women today have to go through every day. Generally, they are the first to wake up in the morning. While others are still comfortably sleeping, these mothers, wives or sisters are already half way through preparing for the breakfast (or “sahur” during this Ramadan month).

Then they would become walking alarm clocks. The entire family has to be woken and usually it would take more than one round of gentle nudging.

While everyone else is getting ready for the day, a working mum would go through a series of quick chores such as washing the dishes, drying the clothes and cleaning up the kitchen.

Finally, she would have the chance to get ready for work when things fall into place. She can count herself slightly lucky if she has a domestic helper but the extra hand is just a small consolation since she will still need to face the office drudgery like every other person.

For a full-time mother, her day is just beginning. There are smaller kids to attend to, elder kids to ferry around, loads of laundry to wash, piles of clothes to fold and the looming lunch to prepare for.

There may be a brief moment at midday when she has some time for herself but it would soon end and the cycle starts all over again. The dishes need washing, the dried clothes need folding, the school-going kids need ferrying and the dinner needs preparing.

If that does not qualify as a superwoman, I do not know what does.

With this understanding and appreciation of what they go through, it will be easier to stop and appreciate the differences they are making in our lives. We will be more tolerant of their shortcomings for no one is perfect, especially after a hard day at work or home. We will be more motivated to chip in and offer our help whenever possible so that they can have extra time for more valuable things like positive interaction with our children.

We will be more willing to work as a team and acknowledge that everyone in the family has a role and a responsibility to do it well.

Over the years, our appreciation of the women in our lives will grow tremendously. Along the way, we will find that our quality of lives will also improve tremendously because we are more able to leverage their huge potential to contribute and make them an integral part of life.

One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt is that there are three women I would always listen to and never argue with – my mother, my wife and the lady in the GPS. While the last one may sound like a funny addition, they are actually quite relevant. Just like the GPS lady, the mother and the wife may not be the one “driving the car” but they provided solid and sound advice for us to complete our journey of life. If we have engaged them honestly and correctly, just like when we input the correct data in the GPS unit, we can expect only the most accurate and best directions. The only difference is that while the GPS directions are emotionless, the ones we receive from our mothers and wives are coming from the heart with love and noble intentions.

I would like to wish all good women in the country a Happy Women’s Day. Please continue your great work to build happier families, lovely homes, more successful kids and brighter futures. To all the men, listen to your mothers and wives, just like you would obediently listen to the GPS lady!

n Zaid Mohamad is a Certified Parental Coach and the bestselling author of Smart Parents, Brighter Kids. Log on to www.SmartParents.com.my or write to him at zaid@smartparents.com.my. Watch out for his second book, Smart Parents, Richer Kids, coming your way very soon.

Toddler’s TV addiction

I HAVE followed your advice to limit my four-year-old son’s TV time to two hours a day. But he still continues watching after the time is up, despite my repeated request to turn the set off. What should I do? Should I just switch off the TV or let him watch for a while longer until he stops by himself?

Zaid: I would just turn off the TV set once the time is up and gentle reminders are ignored. This is assuming that you have made a good agreement with him on the limit. If he repeatedly appeals for more time and breaks his own promise, then you may want to review the mutual agreement again.

But if you think that it is already fair and your son is just trying to push his luck, I would propose being firm and enforcing the agreement fully.

Soon, he would understand that an agreement must be honoured. He would also understand that the whole thing was done in a fair manner.

As an added incentive, you can also offer him alternatives such as playing educational toys or reading an interesting book. Bring him along to buy the toys or books, and chances are he would spend less time in front of the TV but more on his newfound interest.