When two or more people have a conversation in which they support contradictory ideas there is always a lot of tension and, of course, many factors that can prevent them from reaching a common point. The difficulty consists of the fact that there is a very thin line on which you can step: you need to be strong and convincing in order for the other person to accept your statement, but at the same time avoid trying to impose your thoughts by any means.

Moreover, you need to do all this and simultaneously use only rational arguments to ensure that the conclusion of the conversation is adopted by the other person. Emotional arguments are difficult to use because people have different emotions about the same things or events. Therefore, at the end of the discussion there is no certainty that both members have the same understanding of the subject.

One of the biggest mistakes that prevent a debate from achieving its main goal is, believe it or not, the reason why some people engage in it. These are the ones who participate in it only for the “win”. They are not actually interested in putting a theory or statement to the test and analyze it from an intellectual prospective, they just want to hear those magic words: “You are right!” Even if somewhere deep down they share your opinion, consciously or unconsciously, they will still contradict you. We may be tempted to think “Well, I know a person just like that”, but the truth is that we all are like that from time to time. It might have something to do with the education we received in school. In the educational system teachers give pupils certain tasks, one of which is to try and come up with arguments in favor of a solution chosen by a character from a novel, for example, even if they don’t approve of his actions. This type of exercise can help pupils develop their critical thinking but it can also unconsciously teach them that they can either support or reject a statement according to their needs. Therefore they can find it useful to reject an idea in a conversation with ‘person A’ and then turn around and actively support the same idea in a conversation with ‘person B’. Even if both persons are in the conversation for the right reasons they are still vulnerable to mistakes.

Consciously or unconsciously, people use false argument, here are the most common of them:

False generalization:

First of all, we have false generalization, of which there are two types: illegal induction and incomplete enumeration. No need to panic because it is very simple. Illegal induction is sometimes called rash generalization and it is used on a daily basis: example “Mark and Jack are cheating their wives, therefore all men cheat.”

Incomplete enumeration:

Incomplete enumeration is also common and can prevent reaching a proper conclusion: “In situation A water extinguished fire. In situation B water again extinguished fire. Therefore, in all situations water extinguishes fire” (this is clearly false because despite the fact that in almost all situations water does extinguish fire there are some exceptions).

Authority argument:

Then, there is the authority argument. Again a very simple one: “statement A is true because (enter figure of authority here) says it is”. Just by involving Einstein or Kant in the conversation does not mean you are using rational arguments.

The “ad hominem” argument:

Another false argument is the so called “ad hominem argument”. In this case, a person will attack the other person’s shortcomings: “2+2 does not equal 5 because you are drunk or because (enter deficiency here)”.

The “majority rules” argument:

A very popular argument is the “majority rules” argument: “If 10,000 people say that statement A is true, then it has to be true. One more false attempt to be rational is the traditional: “Statement A is true because you cannot prove it is false”. There are of course many more false arguments, but the ones mentioned are the most common.

In the end, the most important thing to remember is that you will become better at having meaningful debates with experience. Just reading this article won’t change things, but it can be a start.